Insidious Contraption of thoughts

The Siege

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:04:23 GMT

Yes, I will lead you.
Through the smoke and flames
On the frontlines of war
And I will stand my ground until the end
Till we conquer them all.

The Guillotine II Lyrics

Alas the time for change has come...

I remember when I started all of this. I said one quote which has stuck with me since them. The quote was

"The Universe will choose its Champion"

It has been a long time coming but as of late I feel that the decision has been made. It is a time now of new progress, new growth and new opportunities for everyone.

As of late the number of people who support the Mysterium initiative is larger than before. With 4 classes being held and new students, supporters, and organizers joining the cause we finally can focus on seeing that the talents of everyone get the attention their due.

I have been called a dictator, the Furer, A despot, Magneto. But at the same time others have seen the logic of what I have proposed. and the results have spoken.

The systematized learnings of mysterium have been proven EFFECTIVE due to the increasing demand and response of the students.

As of late. mysterium is simply waiting to increase their numbers through the effecitive administration of the ADMU Alternative Class Program and the DLSU LEAP programs. Both which will open the gates of these prestigeous universities to us.

AS the cabal. We have proven our worth. the combined power of Chaos, Hermes, and Wicca have shown the way. We have sent out the message to those worthy to sit with us.

Now all you need to do is respond

ORBIS UNUM

All that she wrote

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:42:06 GMT

deep within the recesses of how i feel...

I guess I am now having second thoughts... Let it be known that regardless of the outcome of the next few days.. I was in it for the long haul. I do want to settle down. I do want to have a family and i do want to be a father already.. but I constantly ask myself how much more of this can i take..

I know you have issues but i do too, I know that your anger gets the best of you. but im no door mat. IM a living breathing feeling person and I have feelings too. When push comes to shove, when things are at their worst why cant you permit me the fundamental right of a human being to feel.

The longer we have been together the less you have learned to recognize my feelings, the less you recognize that you are disrespecting me more and more. All the efforts that I have done i have done for us. Not just for me. for you me and the child. .but at the end of the day I still see the same disheartening look of discontent in your eyes.. you are not happy. and it makes me wonder if if you ever will be.

There once was a time you would look at me and say that im a great man.. Now all i see is your anger and your lack of contentment.. and I am beginning to wonder if we have any future at this point..

Some personal Heroes

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:09:23 GMT

In line with my previous post I wanted to post some Personal heroes of mine both from Fiction and Real life...... complete with reasons why..

Not in order

1) John Constantine:

Although not something I would want my kids to look up to. I just figured out last night why I like this guy so much. He is the Occult Super Soldier. he has literally looked the Devil and Hell in the face and said fuck you. His knowledge of the occult and magic are legendary and he pretty much is the "guy" to go to when it comes to magick and occultism. The jaded outlook on life he has is because of the countless battles he has fought against hell and the supernatural. So whats there not to love in him! heheheh

2) President Obama
I honestly dont give two shits about all the political propaganda people are using against MY president. ALL i can say is that he is the MAN. the MAN who said to the WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD my favorite phrase. IMPOSSIBLE NOTHING!!!!! Years ago people would said There will NEVER be a black president of the US. Im so honored that he took those words and shoved them up the world collective ass. He was the man who made the entire world believe that there is NOTHING that is impossible. ANd because of that I Honor this man as MY PRESIDENT.

3) Franz Bardon
In the real world. He had the mastery of the magick that i continue to immerse myself in. THe most beautiful thing was that he did not go Crowley on the world and even allowed himself to die before giving his secrets to the Nazi war party. He will be the master of masters in my book and hence I give my honor to Franz Bardon.. My occult Hero

4) Captain America
Think of the word Leader, Father, Commander, and Hero. Captain america is it. He lived with all the ideals, values and conviction that I myself would want in a leader.. and even died for them. For that he is my Comic Hero

5) Al Gore
This is the man who said to the world.. Ok you take my presidency from me... and ill help not just save the United states. but the entire world. .In spite of his unfair loss to the bushwacker Al Gore still fought to make a difference in terms of enviromentalism. And because of that He was granted a prize that Bush will never even be considered for. The Nobel Prize. And for that I grant him my Uncrowned King Hero status

6) Gandhi
Proved that peace can be the the way.. although I do not adhere to his philosophy. I must say he is the last avatar we have seen.

7) Siddharta Gotama
give me a palace, a kingdom, an empire. And a choice.. between being a war hero or a spiritual savior. And he chose the latter. Whats not to admire in this man? He deseves the title of my Buddha.

8) Magneto
Totally misunderstood. Yeah his means are rather dark. but he represents a reality. A reality that Apathy and LVX can not solve everything. Sometimes you need to take a stand and fight back against oppression and injustice. He is recognized as a Hero amongst his entire species even if his methods are always questionale. He therefore deserves the status of my Necessary Evil

9) Jesus Christ
The man who died for us all.. He will be known always as my savior.

a Time of heroes

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:50:25 GMT

The time of heroes is now. Stop thinking that you're just one person because Jesus, Siddhartha, Gandhi and Mohammed were all just one person as well...but they changed the world. You can do the same. You just need to believe...

The Evocation of Och

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 08:08:54 GMT

Spent the afternoon summoning the Olympic spirit Och: here are his attributes

Solar interests are administered by OCH, who prolongs life to six hundred years, with perfect health therein. He imparts great wisdom, gives excellent (familiar) spirits, composes perfect medicines, converts any substance into the purest of metals, or into precious stones; he also bestows gold and a purse, quaintly described by the English translator of the Arbatel as "springing with gold." He causes the possessor of his character to be worshipped as a god by the kings of the whole world.

Something tells me it will be better for me to summon him yet again on Sunday..

Appeared to me as A collossus made of Gold. Utilized Tattwa Walking substituting a Tattwa for his sigil. Things can be very luminiscent in the Solar Realm

vindication

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:04:11 GMT

its been so very long.. I do not know if it were some ethereal quality in the person, or was it just me hypnotizing myself into wanting something outside of my spectrum. but alas the lessons, pains and trauma that accompanied my failure then caused me to re evaluate my entire existence.

That so called failure has led me to do things that I thought i could never do, meet people i would never have met and more importantly let me realize that there are always limits for me to break in my own paradigm. However in spite of my successes in that felt that I did not vindicate myself until now..

Now I have seen this enemy defeated, I am finally happy to say that chapter in my life is over and that it will never return. Vindication is mine...

the return

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:45:19 GMT

alas my training is now towards its end.. all ive done and experienced i have aimed with the desire to incorporate this new knowledge into the initiative.. i look forward to magick and students once again... indeed the return draws near....

the old are returing, the new hear the calls.. we shall change the world into an image of esoteric service and dedication.. and we will purge evil from the wound it left behind on society..

the road so far...

Fri, 22 May 2009 14:00:54 GMT

How long could you survive on your own in the wild?

View 500 Answers

although i lag behind months of blogging there are some rather important developments within my sphere of influence i would want to share with everyone...ALas a more indepth entry will some day be written

1) I have my own radio show on Wave 89.1 Monday nights entitled SPOOK TALK with DJ Constantine
2) I have finally caught up with my Supernatural and Heroes episodes hehehe
3) Training is but a month away from compleaiton
4) I have many new friends, others have been re-classified others lost but many gained..
5) I now have a beautiful gf and a loving son
6) My esoteric practices are at an all time high
7) I have been keeping up with Marvel Avengers and the new DARK AVENGERS

8) Cris is back in Swiss
9) My birthday draws near
10) Im getting married next year!!!!!!!!

Writer's Block: Wild Life

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:28:19 GMT

How long could you survive on your own in the wild?

View 500 Answers

A day or two at most

Classes and Exhaustion

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:26:26 GMT

yet another day in my work related training... The days here start at 4am and can last past 5pm.. im surprised i made it this far

What is the Mysterium Intiative?

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:33:03 GMT

What is the Mysterium Initiative?

The Mysterium initiative is the living of a dream, a dream where the benevolent and responsible are the teachers of the determined and dedicated to the ways of the esoteric and the Occult. Thus Living up to the creed of EMPOWERING.

The Mysterium Initiative is a drive. A Drive to bring together those who believe that YES THEY CAN make a difference in this world, a drive to helping others realize this within themselves and recognize the heroes within all their members. For it is a time of Heroes and the time to bring our supporters together is now! Thus living up to the creed UNITING

The Mysterium initiative is a Hope. A hope that some day those with gifts in the esoteric will help heal this war torn world, and protect the traditions by carefully administering the teachings of the ages while seeing to it that all those who practice develop their divine gifts within in hopes of a culture of LOVE, HONOR and SERVICE thus loving up to the Creed of DEVELOPMENT

Over all what is The Mysterium Initiative? It’s the beginning of a New age where quality is taught to quality in terms of the Occult, and Service as well as patriotism if the final outcome. It is ACTION

The new year and resolutions

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 02:59:20 GMT

Alas a new year has arrived... and I have made the following resoultions to myself using the Help of the Stylelife guide and my Sisters gift MY Daily Bread.

1) Allow myself to get into better shape by exercising at least 4x a week in the gym and accompany this by a sensible diet.
Personal Reward: I get to Get myself something I really wanted for a long time

2) Write within my journal for at least 1 hour a day and see to it that I stay dedicated to my plannings/Writings and workings throughout the year
Personal Reward: 1 book of my choice
Note: this also means practicings techniques outside of the box from my daily rituals; I should be willing to experiment and try NEW things in my practices as an occultist, as an athleate and as a parent

3) Fight Lack of Continuity: See to it that when I start something I STICK with it whether I like it or not
Personal reward: boosted Self esteem simply by knowing that im doing what I SHOULD be doing.

4) Practice more of Chi-Gung daily complete with reading and personal practice
Personal Reward: augmented by number two and it should help boost my talents as an occultist

I am a Hero (Poem)

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:28:32 GMT

I am a Hero by R.F Rubin

I am a hero. I am someone who knows the meaning of the word sacrifice
the word service, and the word integrity.

I am a hero. I am the lone voice that speaks against the crowd, agasint
the masses and for what I believe it. It is the voice that sets me apart
from apathy, from indifference and from stagnation.

I am a hero. The one who protects those who are unable to protect themselves
regardless of the cost to myself, to my safety and to my peace of mind. It is the
hero in me that will give me the courage to do so in times of great tribulation
and against insurmountable odds.

I am a Hero. I believe in the greater good, the love of the divine, and the God
within everyone and I arise every day with this thought in mind and sleep knowing
that I made this world a better place in my own special way

I am a Hero, I realize within me that I can make a difference and that i can be
like the Heroes of Old, I realize that one day I may be remembered by those who will come after me, by my dedication to emulate those heroes who have come before me.

I am a hero, I affirm my divinity within and I see that God lies in myself and in all living beings, therefore making us all heroes, I see that Heros like Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, and Mohammed were men just like me and that if the Lord wills i can do the same for my fellow brothers and sisters around the world.

I am a Hero, i refuse to tolerate injustice and corruption within myself and others. I stay true to the adherance of law and my own morals and integrity, however if the will of the people decides that something wrong is instead right, I will stand up for what I believe in no matter the odds or consequences. When the whole world, press and mob say for me to move from my convictions I will plan myself firmly like a tree next to the river of truth and tell the whole world. NO you MOVE!

I am a hero, I love my family, my country and my neighbor. I know that I may not yet hold a candle next to those before me, but I also know that when the time comes I will be willing and chosen to do so. For people, for God, and for all of humanity. I will protect the sactitiy of life, and the rights of freedom. At any cost to myself and to my own life in need be.

I am a Hero, I possess limitless possibility and in spirit and in truth and I recognize that YES I CAN CHANGE THE world! and I continue to seek others who see this reality as I do.

The Flying SHoe!

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:55:16 GMT

ITs about FUCKING time that someone did this!!!!!!!!

Who ever the hell you are Mr Shoe Thrower.. your now definitely one of my heroes!!!!!!!!!!

!

The Return of the King......; 3 down and 1 to Go

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 04:56:38 GMT

The time of Kings is upon us.... and I can't help but think that its a sign of something major to happen..

After half a year of being missing, the King of Gondor returns. Ironcally when the King of Rohan does. All on the same day.. Maybe the universe is telling us something..

maybe the Universe is saying that the Clans are to be united, and that the pains of the past must not distract us all from the duties we all have during the future to come. For his belated Day of Birth we gave him a copy of two texts to guide him through his darkest hour. The Warrior of the Light and The Pilgrimage. I do pray that they will give him the answers he seeks.. For I know from experience that in such times the one thing that such a person needs is hope...

you're not alone my friend. The Kings of Old are here to help you.. as are the kings of new.. all that is left is for one more to Return to Minas Tirith.. For the great change to begin...

The corruption of the soul

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:44:57 GMT

Give a person power... and you will see if they possess integrity. give a person money, and you will see if they have values..

Its rather difficult to imagine.. That all this time. The reason in which I held such emnity for the word and idea of MONEY, was right under my nose.. because people lose themselves to it. They lose their values, their honor, their love and revert to their barbaric natures.. Even to the point where they tear, deceive, maniuplate, lie and take advantage of others. Even the people they love the most....

ITs a drug... it surely is.. its the opium of the world. most people will lower themselves to such low standards for the dollar and the cent. and its a painful reality that im experiecing right now..

Enough is never enough when it comes to money.. people simply want to ammass more and more and more and more of it.. Regardless of who gets hurt in the process.....

Best way to solve this problem.. Avoid people who are money hungry...

The New Legendary Five

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 03:45:40 GMT

The legendary Five
2008 Edition

"Only the Strongest Will
lead me to Heaven when we die
I have a shadow on the wall,
I will be the one to save us all!!"

-Breaking Benjamin, Blow me Away Lyrics

A Lot has changed in the years since I wrote this. Some names have stayed, others have been bumped down, while others continue to fly through the ranks of my life due to the endless support they give. Alas I feel that a revised edition of this was necessary in order to let everyone know who's who in my life
and who can still make it to the top!

PS once again I’ll be playing a little game, I’ll be giving these gentlemen Codenames, its up to you to figure out who they are.. hehehe if your smart I suggest digging around my Blog and my friendster account for clues..heheheheh

#1 Reynald of Chatillion: WHO SAID I RAID?!?! IS STILL NUMBER ONE come 2009! In spite of the loss of Jerusalem to the Saracens he still manages to hold on to his World heavyweight championship as my best friend. Those of you who know me know him and know that he has earned this rank and even though he is not yet The man I know he can be. He continues to strive in that direction. An up and coming Magister Magi who will be the one to lead the Order in the end times.. Even when things go wrong... Alas Professor Murphy deserves the Number ONe slot he held on to even though things may have gotten complicated in these past 2 years.

#2 Han Solo: A lousy double crossing No good swindler that has managed to take the number two slot due to his brotherly attitude and simplistic ability of using the wrong words at the right time. its been near over 7 years since me and this schmuck met and finally now IM in a position where I can start giving back to him the care that I took when the shit hit the fan. None the less the Falcon is finally being repaird and i treat this scoundrle like he was my own brother (even though he has the innate talent to treating me less than a real one) and due to this he takes the number two slot on the Legendary 5! However im still waiting for the classic line to come out of his tactless mouth... Oh well maybe in 2009?

#3 The Sarge!: The crazy.. stubborn, Jason Bourne acting, Rambo Idolizing Repuplican voting fucker.. who Is the vice president of the FInger from God Club grabs the number three slot.. Since coming home from Iraq and from worst NEW MEXICO He finally got the chance to get closer to me since his Finger from God Induction out in the desert snow of New Mexico. Since they we have drank, argued, Fought, been known as life partners and yes Argued some more since he arrived. None the less the ties that bind me and the SARGE go beyond distance and time. His crazy sense of humor and Loyal attitude keeps him in the Legendary Five and even makes him a crazier fuck to being with!

#4: Aragorn The King of Gondor: Even though my dear friend Aragorn is not with me in the time of trials I know that when The King of Gondor is needed most he will return to my side. The man I wish to be, and more importantly a friend like no others. With his ability to inspire the best in others and make their spirits shine to the maximum potential Aragorn also retains his position in the Legendary Five as I patiently await the day all the great Kings unite for the Good of the land. Mae Govannane Old friend. I will dine in Lothlorien with you soon enough...

#5: VACANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!: Yup.. Due to Akuma's uber wierdness and lack of honor he was bumped off the legendary five leaving this entire illustrious position up for grabs for the best contenders... The nominees are...

1) ACk! The Mad Arab!
2) Tai Lee the Telepath
3) Barty Crouch Jr

CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Honorable Mention

Goratrix: The apprentice of the Age.. everything I've ever wanted in a student and I pray silently for the day that we are reuinted so that I can complete his training.. Greatness in the making...

Drako: The Apprentice of the Future: TOo young to realize it but his destiny is seal at my side. Full of potential and talent and I also patiently await the day that he take the title of Apprentice

Writer's Block: Department of Stereotypes

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 05:53:39 GMT

One of the most popular gender stereotypes is that women ask for directions while men would rather be lost than ask for help. In your personal experience, does this stereotype hold true?

View 500 Answers

Why should it. when lost ask for directions.. Pride is useless

Kundalini

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 05:35:34 GMT

hmmm. been quite a while.. so much for descent internet access.. New found interest in Kundalini, And Chi-Gong, and a more magickal application of the two. not to mention more simple verions of reverse evocation...

Three years have come to a close

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:34:24 GMT

After three long depressing, frustrating and more importantly trial ridden years I have finally ended my fast from the loving care of a woman. and my heart now belongs to a wonderful mother named Sarah..

Although I never expected that it would happen (I literally didnt) I was not disappointed in the loving quality that this woman possesses. and im now both honored and happy to say she is my lover.

I love her so much.. and I hope this one lasts forever..

Writer's Block: Lenny Bruce

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:31:37 GMT

Before George Carlin exposed the seven words you can’t say on television, comedian Lenny Bruce was arrested multiple times for saying all seven, and more, on stage. Who is today’s most groundbreaking comedian? Or is there even any ground left to break?

View 332 Answers

FUCK lenny BRUCE! George Carlin was KING!

Writer's Block: Change of Law

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 01:52:51 GMT

If you could change a law from any time in history, which would you change and what impact would this have?

Submitted By griffles

View 497 Answers

Tax the CHURCH!

Level 5

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 01:24:34 GMT

Level 5: The place where the worst of Villains go.

Makes me wonder in a world where the extent of human potential is growing, what will be the the evolutionary powers that mankind obtains in due time.

there will be those who will use such powers for their own self gratification, and thus tear the world apart due to their greed and self centeredness... but There will be also those who take what ever simple talents they have to make the world a better place to live it..

Where do you fall?

Hero or Villain?

and I thought it was bad a month ago

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:15:55 GMT

hay........... ten steps forward.... one step back.. the pain comes back like a knife in the gut. Appearing in great strides then dissappearing.. Like right now.. Now that I can write about it. it subsided.. but knowing it the way I do. It'll come back. out of nowhere. When im least expecting it. Its almost as if it has a mind of its own. menacing and conniving. Just simply chosing when to send its energy.

its not because of a woman this time. Nor a friend. No its because of my family. My family which has stayed consistent for 20 years. Now I feel it may be in jeopardy. It feels like the evil offspring of A breakup and a Death in the family. I can't let it get to me. since i have much work to do. I have to remain true to the dream. I have to remain strong for my students and for all of those who depend on me.. but its just gotten so much harder now than it was a few days ago.......

a tribute to my hero

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:09:20 GMT

There are two kinds of heroes, those who we had the blessing of meeting in real life and in the process brings out the best in us, and those who if we ever had the chance of meeting would in fact bring our best into new levels. Of the prior people like my Father and Stepfather, my uncle Ed and Others like both my Apprenti Marcus and Paulo for being of the sort that are those who brought out the best in me. but of the latter.. those who i never had the chance to meet but in fact i KNOW would have driven me to new depths of achievement one man stands above the Rest.... Any guess who that is? hehehe ---------->>>>>

Yes I openly admit it. Master Bardon was my magickal inspiration and will continue to me (Which makes me wonder may i'm unconsciosly beginning to look more and more like him!!?!?!) due to the simple yet benevolent contributions he made to the Occult world. And how although he never started any organiations, and only wrote 5 simple books (the last being incomplete) his name rivals that of even the notorious Crowley and how with each passing day I continue to hope to bring more honor to the practices I've learned from his book INITIATON INTO HERMETICS

Therefore Master Bardon this song is Dedicated to you!

IF YOU ONLY KNEW by SHINEDOWN

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned

[ Chorus ]
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I
still believe
In is you, if you only knew

If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I
Spent, nights we shared,
Or letters that I sent

[ Chorus ]
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I
still believe
In is you, if you only knew

If you only knew
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
You help me live and learn

[ Chorus ]
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I
still believe
In is you, believe in is you
I still believe in you
Oh, if you only knew